I'm the person behind the user name 'Tarshana.' I left modding back in 2021 and gave my mods to Vexon/Vexonar/Vexona to manage.I created the original Logical Load Order back in 2016 on the Bethesda forums. Doc Alva updated the document to provide a spreadsheet for ease of use. When Vexon took over, that sheet was updated.My work was stolen and plagerized a dozen times. I don't know why no one asked me permission to use my document. However, I hope it's helped enough people out there to have a grasp on their load order and your game continues to be as crash less as possible.When my personal information was doxxed, the people responsible were never held accountable. Instead people used that information to harass me and my family. They used their excuse at whatever disagreement they had with me to justify their disgusting behaviour.People created one and done reddit accounts just to tag onto my name - bro.. I should not live rent free in your head like that. At no point should mods have ever been so personal and emotional to you that you wanted to waste your time. That makes me weirdly sad for you. There was a time when I tried to hold every thread together -updates, patches, compatibility, support - and I did it gladly, because creating for this community once felt like existing freely.But not every patch was possible.
Not every request could be met.Many mods I was asked to support were built on broken navmesh, unstable edits, or design flaws that made compatibility work unsafe or impossible. I refused to create patches that would corrupt saves or harm players' games. Some saw that as stubbornness. Or even being "mean." But I moved entire towns so mods could work together, installed enable/disable markers, created scripts where I could to make sure things worked smoothly. But I was not about to compromise my personal vision and create patches with mods that were broken or violated my personal and ethical boundaries.And then there came a point where the environment itself became unsafe.Doxxing. Harassment. Stalking.
Lines crossed that should never be crossed.No mod author- no human being -owes their safety to a hobby.So I stepped away. Not because I lacked the skill or the will, but because survival required silence, and silence required distance.This page remains as a marker, not an invitation.I'm proud of what I built.
I'm at peace with what I left behind.And this chapter is the last one I will ever write on the matter.The past can rest now.
I have work to do elsewhere.If you are a mod author in which gave me permission to handle your mods, I transferred those permissions to Vexon. I maintain payment for my website because this message is here to be trawled and remembered.So, good luck, happy gaming and may the force be with you, Harry.
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